February 2, 2022 Some weeks, I’ll start three or four completely different versions of this column before I get one set to print. More often than not, I have to scrap those early attempts because, as I describe it, “I can’t make the pivot.” If you haven’t noticed, I often start my columns with a story from my life then pivot into how that story fits into the work God is doing in my life and in the world around me. When “I can’t make the pivot,” it means I can’t clearly articulate that connection. As I sit and write this week, I can’t make the pivot. But it’s a different sort of pivot. To be honest, I didn’t want to write about this this week. It’s still pretty raw. But I couldn’t think about much else. This week, there was a tragedy in the small community where my family and I reside. A young man, one of my son’s classmates, was killed in a car accident. I think it’s fair to say our collective community is grieving. We’re heartbroken for the involved family, as well as this young man’s friends, teammates and classmates. We’re offering our love and support. We’re praying for this young man’s soul and for his loved ones. While I join that collective community experience, I’m also feeling a combination of angry and upset. I’m angry/upset that God would end the life of a young child. I’m angry/upset things like this happen. In times like this, we frequently hear things like “God has a plan.” I know I’ve written those exact words in this very space. I know that to be true in my head. But right now, my heart is screaming, “how can something this awful be part of the plan of a good and loving God!” And I can’t make the pivot away from that. If this is part of God’s plan, I can’t understand it right now. Maybe I never will. I’m almost certain I won’t in this life. We all grieve differently. I know some people can instantly find solace in God’s love in times like these. I’m not one of those people. I have to work through the flood of emotions before I can get even close to being open to God’s love and peace. I’m sure I’ll get there. I pray everyone close to this young man and his family, and everyone experiencing any type of tragedy gets there. But I’m not ready to make the pivot just yet. |
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